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Don't get excited. by ~boshi:iconboshi:

Categories Literature > Prose > Non-Fiction > Editorial




It seems that I'm the wrong kind of artist for this place. That is, if you really want to call me an artist.

It's been roughly a year and a bit since I made the decision to stop having a portfolio of any kind hosted on this site for a simple reason: I'm not an artist. Not by my terms. God, I wish I was. I wish I could draw like some of you can. I wish I could take breathtaking and emotive photography like some of you can. I wish I could paint like alot of you can. My God, how I wish I could illustrate well. But I can't. And since deviantART doesn't have a "comments only" sort of account, I've kinda been carrying this thing around. This account with no art, and you can probably count how many times I've been asked why.

But, in my opinion, I think I can make a pretty good film.

I go to film school, and I've been gradually getting to a point where I'm churning out work that I'm genuinely proud of. I really am. And would love to hear critiques about. But that's not very feasable on a site like deviantART. Alas.

So what do I do here instead? Not much of anything, to tell you the truth. I used to really get a kick out of commenting on people's work, but not so much anymore. I used to really like getting to know some of the people here, people from all over the world, but time and time again I just found myself being disappointed with the relationships I wound up with here. It all felt very non-comittal, and who knows, that could be just me expecting more than I should be. But that's kinda how it worked out.

So, to tell you the truth, I don't know why I'm submitting this. Why right now, of all times. Maybe to explain that I'm honestly more than I make myself out to be here on deivantART, and I'm not sure if that's something I regret or not.

I don't know. You tell me.
©2005-2009 ~boshi
:iconboshi:

Author's Comments

Me being as honest as possible. Possibly egotistical. That's for you to decide.

Comments


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:iconanti-zadr-club:
*anti-zadr-club Dec 24, 2005, 1:13:03 AM
You can submit screenplays.

Deviation > Prose > Fiction > Theatre and Scripts

--
~anti-zadr-club

:boogie:
:iconboshi:
~boshi Dec 24, 2005, 11:10:52 AM
I didn't realize. But who comes to an art site to check out screenplays?

I realize what you're saying, but in my view, this is a pretty visual site. You might disagree with me.

--
"This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It's us. Only us." - Rorschach, The Watchmen
:iconanti-zadr-club:
*anti-zadr-club Dec 24, 2005, 12:12:31 PM
I know what you mean. Writing doesn't get half the attention of, say, an anime picture stolen off 4chan or something.

--
~anti-zadr-club

:boogie:
:iconboshi:
~boshi Dec 24, 2005, 7:45:29 PM
Exactamundo.

--
"This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It's us. Only us." - Rorschach, The Watchmen
:iconwazna:
~wazna Jan 30, 2006, 6:13:35 AM
Ur not alone. I wish i was an artist as well:) but hey, this is a place you can express youserlf or at least look at art from around the world:)

--
"Im going in2 this not knowing what ill find, but i've decided 2 follow my heart and abandon my mind..."
:heart:Strawberies are the best :love:
"all ppl seek to be happy, even those who are about to hang themselves" -Blaise Pascal
:iconboshi:
~boshi Feb 9, 2006, 12:33:07 AM
True enough. At least, that's how it starts. I don't know. I found, when I used to be submitting here, that it became about more than just expression. Cheap things started taking priority being on deviantART; like popularity, pageviews, comments, jealousy, and so many more ugly feelings. To the point where it wasn't about the expression anymore at all.

I don't know. Really, I think I deleted my work to get away from those feelings.

Thanks for your comment, anyhow.

--
"This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It's us. Only us." - Rorschach, The Watchmen
:iconkir:
~kir Mar 17, 2006, 10:15:05 AM
I don't think you were being egotistical in the least. I know what you mean. Half the time I'm here, I want to give up on my art because how can I ever compete with some of these people? And "friends" come and go so quickly here. Probalby becaue it's over the internet it's easy to feel detatched, and life changes very quickly as well. People get busy and go months without putting anything out. I think you should continue to submit your work here, because you never know who might see it. espeicially your screenplays or whatever you might have. There's no need to burn any bridges that aren't costing you anything, right? And I'm sure there are websites out there like DA only devoted to film. I'm pretty sure I've been to some, I just don't remember well. Have you tried doing a search for something like that?

--
"So, what are you guys into?"
"...Art."
:iconboshi:
~boshi Mar 19, 2006, 10:59:10 AM
But as I was saying to ~wazna, when submitting here, it almost becomes like a sickness. It's never just about the art, at least it wasn't for me. At first it starts off being about feedback - or lack thereof - which then turns into issues about popularity, pageviews, and being jealous of other artists who seem less deserving of other people's praises. I'm very shallow that way. I know what you're saying about burning bridges, and technically speaking, there's really nothing to lose in submitting anything and everything here. But something about it always turns it in to competition. It's dumb, I know.

There are indeed film websites, lots of them, and I've investigated submitting to them. I guess when I say I wish that was possible here, I just kinda like the community. This community. Whether deliberate or not, I'll say that deviantART has successfully amounted a very unique collection of artists and critics here, and it feels more secure than any other site out there. But that being said, I could just be biased because I've been here for so long. Though now I'm just rambling...

Thanks, though. 'Preciate the comment.

--
"This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It's us. Only us." - Rorschach, The Watchmen
:iconzecchino:
~zecchino Feb 12, 2007, 12:09:32 AM
"I wish I could write as well as you."

I view all the submissions as a form of self-expression, and granted, most others would be 'better' in expressing themselves via a different mode as compared to you, but at least when it comes to writing, you know you fare better.

If writing is not viewed as an art, then I don't see the point in authors such as Rowling writing. With art, there comes appreciation. Writers have their own appreciating circle, and it is a large one, whether you are aware of it or not.

Sorry if it took me a million years to reply to this; amidst the bloody superfluous 'arts' of which I don't really appreciate, i.e. those other than writings, I have totally missed the ones that I should be expecting, i.e. things such as this.

When you've set base in a different blog site, e.g. blogspot.com, you'd learn to appreciate the true art of writing as compared to the bloody generic form of journal bullshit. It's like a popularity contest, and I can't be fucked with that.

Get my point? (:
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